Many women believe that men prefer women who play hard to get, but is this true? To get to the bottom of it, we asked five men to share their thoughts on dating dynamics and attraction. Their responses reflect a range of perspectives, showing how personal preferences and timing play a role in what keeps them interested—or makes them pull away.

• I love a woman who likes me but not too much. Let me do most of the calling, the worrying, the clinginess. I just want to be the one giving it. So maybe it’s true, but that’s just me.” — Kobby

• “I think it’s true because I’ve never liked a woman who liked me first. There’s always the thrill of going after something I think I can’t have. Even if she likes me, she should hide it a bit and let me do the work.” — Abeka

• “I don’t think it’s true. I want a woman who loves as hard as I do. I only pull away if she’s disrespectful or doesn’t bring me peace.” Nii

• “This is true, but it works both ways. Most girls don’t like men who like them too much either.” — Francis

• “It’s true and also false. I’ve liked some who liked me back and not others who did. In the end, it’s about personal preference.” - Michael

In the end, personal preferences and dynamics vary. When we learn self-love, we become better at recognizing and appreciating genuine love when it’s given to us.