The Bitter Lessons I learnt From My Parents Marriage

Growing up in my parents' home, I witnessed firsthand the cracks in their marriage. My father was barely present, and when he was, he was cruel to my mother. He spoke to her with no regard for her feelings, his voice always raised in anger. My mother, on the other hand, endured it all in silence. She never argued back, never raised her voice. She would simply serve his food and retreat to bed hoping silence would shield her from the storm.

Their differences were stark—my father was obsessively neat, while my mother lived in comfortable chaos. I think their misunderstandings often stemmed from this. To solve the problems, my mother hired maids to keep the house in order, but the fights didn’t stop. And then, my father started seeing other women. The betrayal cut through my mother like a blade, but she did not leave. Instead, she confided in us, her children, pouring her pain into our innocent ears.

To the outside world, my parents were the perfect couple—strong, united, admired. They played their roles flawlessly, a power couple in every social circle. But behind closed doors, my mother was withering away. She carried the weight of a broken marriage, clinging to an illusion, desperate to prove that her marriage was intact. She smiled for the world, but inside, she was crumbling.

As my father went around doing as he pleased, my mother suffered in silence. The stress consumed her. She lost weight, her hair thinned, and her laughter faded. She was a ghost of the woman she once was, drained by a love that had long since died. And still, she stayed. Not out of love, but out of a need to uphold the image she had created.

Then, after 15 years of marriage, my father walked away. Just like that. He moved on without hesitation, marrying another woman two years later. My mother? She was shattered. She almost didn't survive it. She had sacrificed everything to keep a marriage alive that only she was fighting for, and in the end, she was left with nothing but heartbreak.

But they say the wise learn from the mistakes of others. And I did.

I learned that marriage is a partnership—it takes two people to hold it together. The moment you find yourself fighting alone, it’s time to stop and reevaluate. Love should never be one-sided. If a man loses interest, no amount of effort can make him stay. Women must learn this truth: do not lose yourself trying to make something work when the other person has already given up.