"I don't see our relationship going anywhere, so it's better we end it here," he said, his voice cold as I tried to hold back my tears. "We have conflicting life goals, and I don't want to waste your time." I listened in silence, but his words only stung more. He had already wasted my time, so what was the point of this sudden burst of honesty? I hung up, unable to take any more of his nonsense.

I cried. No, I bawled my eyes out. I called Diana, choking on my sobs, "He says we have different life goals, but that's a lie. It's because I said no sex before marriage." Diana, always blunt, tried to console me. "I told you the no-sex policy till marriage wasn’t going to work." I was annoyed—she could’ve waited for me to finish crying before saying that. "I know there are men out there who would understand," I said through my tears, clinging to hope.

The next guy I met, I made sure to show him that I was wife material. I cooked, cleaned, gave what I had, and asked for nothing. I wanted him to see that I was a 'good girl.' But Kofi? He saw I was a good girl and didn’t care. "Your fashion sense embarrasses me. Why can't you dress like a modern woman? What’s with the long skirt? Be sexy," he criticized. But hadn’t I been told that modesty would attract the best man? Why was it now the cause of tension?

The final straw came when I asked him for a little financial help—something I had never done before. His response? "I’m not giving anything to a woman I’m not sleeping with." That hurt. How could he take so much from me but find an excuse not to give in return? I let him go. Because that wasn’t love.

I stood by Diana's side with a smile as she got married, but inside, I felt hollow. All the girls I knew who didn’t follow the 'good girl' rules were taken, while I was left moving from one heartbreak to the next.

Then came Tony. I liked him, really liked him. So much so that I compromised a little. I did the wifely duties—cooking, cleaning, being there for him. I even gave in to oral sex, something I’d never done before, just to please him. But soon, that wasn’t enough for him. He wanted more, but I couldn’t give it. He didn’t care about how submissive I was, how I cooked and cleaned without asking for anything but his love. It still led to a breakup, a massive one. The pain was unbearable, and it changed me.

I let go of my 'good girl' values. I stopped holding onto them so tightly. If a man said he liked me, I just chuckled and added him to the list of men who had said the same thing before. I became demanding, asking for the moon because when I had asked for nothing, I had received exactly that—nothing. If a man couldn’t meet my demands, then to hell with him.

I embraced my youth, my freedom. Maybe this was how Rapunzel felt when she let her hair down, finally free from her tower. I was done being the 'good girl'—it hadn’t worked for me.

When Denzel came into my life, I knew I loved him, but I didn't rush into anything. He was the only one in the line who kept fighting for me. When I finally gave him a chance, he didn’t get any wifey duties from me. When he was hungry, I told him to order food. When we went out, I dressed to turn heads. I asked for a lot, and I got what I asked for. When he asked why I wasn’t playing the 'wife' role, I snapped back, "Wife me first."

Sometimes he’d sulk or complain about my attitude, but he never left. Being a 'good girl' had never made anyone stay, so why should I change now? I’d learned that a woman who asks for nothing will receive nothing, and a woman who plays wifey too soon will only get used.

These were my lessons. You can learn yours, but these are the ones that led me down the aisle with Denzel. My heart was broken until I was I became a 'bad bitch' side. Since then, everything has been just fine.